The Plague

What goes better with bathroom renovations than a houseful of people barfing? Two toilets + one bathroom sink = this mah wants to go stay in a hotel until the weeping, wailing and retching cease. Monday night was truly great, someone decided they couldn't leave the bathroom and camped out in there all night, even sleeping on the floor in between hurls. This leaves one toilet for 8 people to share, 2 of which were also likewise afflicted. If the squatter hadn't been a teenager and had been light enough to pick up by the scruff and moved to a more convenient location with her own personal barf bucket, I'd have done some moving. This stomach bug is the worst thing we've seen in this household in a couple of years. Not since the pneumonia plague of 2005. And they didn't hog up the bathrooms. Last night another child succumbed, so I was up with her until after 2:00 am. Which is much better than the Saturday to Sunday marathon I had with my youngest, who was too weak to lift his head to hurl. That really scared me. He asked me if he was going to die, which kept me awake,quite easily from that moment on. That was a 6:00 am bedtime for me. As tired as I am, I can't help but feel sorry for the victims. The last victim actually collapsed on the way back from the bathroom this morning. This is rough stuff.
The good news is, the first victim (am I going to die?) went back to school today. That means tomorrow two more will go back, and by Friday the collapser should be recovered. By tonight I will have the last toilet back, all the sinks will be functional, and I'll be able to take a shower in my own bathroom again.
Might just be in time for me to break it in.
Until then, I am off to disinfect, sanitize and possibly use a blowtorch to rid this place of all contagion.
But I have to say, my new bathrooms do look fabulous!

We are moving!

So my husband decides it is time for us to move on up and get a piece of the pie. This means we must renovate our wonderful happenin' super groovy '70s home, in order to sell it at a primo price. This means that a bathroom redo that was supposed to take 3 days has become the 3 week nightmare. Like pregnancy, one must not dwell on 'dates' I have learned. Yesterday was a triumphant one, in that the 3 week overdue baby was in fact done. The shower curtain is hung, the lucky bamboo strategically placed. It is sublime. Yesterday the demolition of the 2nd bathroom began. When I say demo, I mean ripping out all the tile on the floor and shower surround. This creates a wonderful dust that coats everything in my home with it's lovely patina. This one is going much faster because the crackheads are not the ones working on it. You know you have to give the crackheads a chance. Well they had their chance, what with painting over nails in the wall and dripping paint on my floors. Ernest, I will miss your vacant stares as I explain that you neglected to spackle the gouges in the den's paneling. And the nail holes in the fireplace mantel. I will miss your fetid breath as you explain how you have done this for 17 years.
Anyway, we have yet one more bathroom to go,for a total of three whole modernized bathrooms, and then there is the painting of the rest of the interior, changing light fixtures (I was informed that brass is crass),doorknobs (what the heck?) and recarpeting three bedrooms. Am I supposed to live in this squalor during this renaissance? What's wrong with a little 70's chic anyway? I am already sick of this mess, everything in boxes or shoved to the middle of the room. My only consolation is that we are building a Mah customized home. This is a dream come true for me. Back in the trailer park I'd have never figured I'd get some of the 'pie'.
So about the time my dream is finished, which is supposed to be in the fall, I will have married off my oldest son to a sweet young lady and sent child # 4 to college. Busy summer.
Oh, and here's our little piece of the pie eh, mud. Our mud.